Happy New Year FANZ. Back with a vengeance. That and some filthy trainers post festive balls up. When choosing footwear on a night out I always try to imagine the messiest place I could end up in. Me and my mate Dave grossly miscalculated the NYE VIBEZ and thus my beloved NBMIE674s are looking as forlorn and dejected as WOY.
Forlorn by the ruining of my primary pub trainers and the onslaught of FYMW in the great satirical menswear blog stakes I've undertaken a risky and highly dangerous project to revitalise and update the 674s. Here's what you'll need if you want to do this yourself:
A plastic washing up-bowl, some washing up liquid and a jay cloth. Now I know these are quite hard to get hold of items and unless you're one of the lucky few who have a Tesco store in your town then I may just be wasting your time. However if you send us a DM on the old TWTR I can put you in touch with some specialist suppliers who only deal with the fashion industry direct.
The next step is very dangerous and should only be undertaken with a responsible adult in the room. Add some of the washing-up liquid to the washing up bowl and fill the bowl with warm water. The liquid will react in an incredibly complicated chemical manner and don't be surprised if it looks like the above. THIS IS NORMAL.
Next dip your jay cloth into the water/washing up liquid solution. Then vigorously rub the cloth on any dirty areas on the shoe. The dirt should come off after some effort. If you don't get it off to begin with then give it another more vigorous rub. Don't desist no matter how sore your elbow gets. *CHORTLE*.
Finally fill your bowl with some cold water and repeat the wetting cloth/vigorous rubbing/sore elbow process until you're trainers look slightly less fucked than when you started.
Voila. Oh and if there are any music bloggers reading this reading this SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ONEOHTRIXPOINTNEVER and listen to Modern Love's finest.
And yes our kitchen floor needs a bloody good mopping I know.